I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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