I don't usually arrange sex via text message
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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