Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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