I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
