I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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