he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
