i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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