I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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