Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
