maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
