he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
