His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
