I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
