he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
