I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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