I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
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