i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
