Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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