is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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