i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize