Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
