i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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