sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
