Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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