is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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