People in love make me want to vomit
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
