It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
