It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
