My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Randomize
