I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Randomize
