Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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