you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
In other news, I just burned my penis
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
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