I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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