Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
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