dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
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