As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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