Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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