JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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