i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
