is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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