my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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