If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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