So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
