It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
wow bdsm is so cute
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
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