At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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