you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
My bed smells like the plague
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
