Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
