her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
