I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
MIDGETS
????
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Randomize