Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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