I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
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