help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Farmville is her only friend.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
