My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
