question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
ttyl tear gas
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
