i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
