New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize