God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
