i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
