i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
