Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
