quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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