how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
