All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
